Partout le Magasin

A Gentleman and his Butler in France

This is the official homepage for Partout le Magasin, the official book of the diary of the tour of the Loire Valley.

Buy Online at my Lulu store

Partout le Magasin is the allegedly witty story of one man's travels around France with his butler. It's a diary of sorts, explaining the holiday from the point of view of both the gentleman, Ian 'N' Bentham esq., and his butler, Colin M. Frayn, esq. It is a rollercoaster of a ride, physically, mentally and emotionally. It's a "warts and all" fly-on-the-wall real-life documentary, following the exploits of two quintessentially British gents on their first foreign holiday together as they struggle to get to terms with the culture, the language, the food and often each other.

This is the first book Ian and Colin have written together, but a sequel is already planned. Sadly, Ian hasn't decided what it's going to be about yet.

Download the book in Postscript format;
.zip File (For Windows Machines) (150k)
Tar.gz File (For Unix Machines) (150k)
Download the book in Adobe PDF format;
.zip File (For Windows Machines) (280k)
Tar.gz File (For Unix Machines) (280k)

Older versions of the book:

Download the book in MS Word format Zipped (80k) Unzipped (260k)
Download the book in plain text format Zipped (68k) Unzipped (176k)

If you need a Postscript viewer, then you can downloaded one for free from this URL.

Cautionary Notice

Most of this tale is true. Some of it is false. If any of it offends you, then that was the bit that was false.

What the Critics Said

"It's OK. It's not exactly side-splittingly funny, but it does get better as it goes on."
June Frayn, Mother

"It's alright I suppose. I only read the first chapter, but I think you just use too many metaphors and try to be clever."
Peter Frayn, Brother

"Yeah, it's pretty funny. Let's get drunk and tour Rome."
Richard Massey, Astronomer and T.V. Personality

What the Critics Might Have Said

This is what a selection of critics might have said, were they ever to have read Partout le Magasin.

"A fine work of great literary genius. Rather like a latter day Pepys, but with more Croissants."
The Telegraph

"Limited in its portrayal of human emotion and vulnerability."
The Times

"Thanks for the reference!"
The Guardian

"Too many long words, and no sex whatsoever."
The Sun

"You call that a book?"
J.R.R. Tolkien

"We'd like to offer Mr. Bentham and Mr. Frayn the opportunity to present a series of travel programmes on prime time television in order to showcase their unique and refreshing intellectual brand of wit."
Director General of the B.B.C.

"Very interesting. Now tell me about your mother."
Sigmund Freud

"There is only one thing worse than travelling round France with one's butler, and that is not travelling round France with one's butler."
Oscar Wilde

"What does partowt mean? Where's France?"
George W. Bush

"This means war!"
Jacques Chirac

This Page is maintained by Colin Frayn,
Last Modified : 31/May/05